a day of rest.

I should be sleeping. I have a big day tomorrow. I’m going on a little adventure in the morning with one of my intercambios, I have a conversation exam in the afternoon, and class not too long after that conversation exam. I need to buy more postcards and write more postcards. Hopefully I’ll have time for that after my class. Or perhaps I can find some on my adventure in the morning.

I’ve learned that I can never really know what to expect when it comes to adventures on this island, but I’m learning how to prepare myself for these adventures. It’s an island. Enough said. My white skin will hopefully turn a nice shade of tan very soon.

Today I had nothing major to do. I slept in and spent the remainder of the morning doing a little reading and getting ready for the day. In the afternoon I did some laundry, cleaned up around my room, wrote more postcards, bought water, did homework, and fought homesickness.

Today I desired to be in a place where everything was familiar. Specifically the language.

Sometimes I just want to have an intelligent conversation with someone. I really enjoy intelligent conversation. I’ll do things do prepare myself for intelligent conversation. Most of them involve reading. It never gets old.

So there’s really nothing left to say.

I hate it when people just blog about what they did during the day. Does someone really just want to read about all the things I did today? No. At least I wouldn’t want to read about all the things I did today.

So let me tell you this. Let me make this blog post mean something.

I think that this whole experience is about me. That’s not true.

Let me put it this way. I’m not perfect, and sometimes I think that I have to be perfect in order to get anywhere.

In reality the whole point of the Gospel has to with the fact that I’m not perfect, and I think that it’s when I realize that I’m not perfect and that I really can’t impact anyone’s life for the better because I have enough problems of my own…

I think that’s when God comes in works in the hearts of those around me.

Because otherwise I would just think that it was because of something nice that I did, or something wise that I said.

So I’m learning to get over myself, and fall into the grace that God has so freely given. It’s a wonderful place to be.

The road there is not always easy, but what really good things are always easy?

 

 

Sometimes we forget who we got.

I could have gone snorkeling this morning. It was merely pure laziness that kept me from doing so.

I have a lot of cool opportunities here on this island called Tenerife. Tomorrow the two missionary families, myself, and most of the people with whom we do intercambios are going to celebrate Thanksgiving. I’m looking forward to turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, pumpkin pie, and all things American.

There never seems to be a dull moment. There’s always a new opportunity, a new invitation, a new word, or a new friend.

Everything is just that. New.

Three months isn’t nearly long enough.

There are a lot of things that I left undone at home. This week my emotions have been trying to work through those things.

Many of them have to do with relationships.

I would say that I seek simplicity in my life, but relationships always seem to make things more complicated. The truth is that when I return I’m not really sure where my relationships will be. There are a couple friendships that I’m really looking forward to continuing. There are a couple friendships that will probably no longer exist. There are a couple friendships that need to be reunited.

The truth is that most of my friendships don’t end up like I want them to. I’ve spent the last year and a half learning a lot about this. I’m learning that I can’t control the way other people respond to my invitation of friendship. I tend to blame myself. This takes away from the much sought after simplicity.

I guess that that’s what I really actually want.

Simplicity.

And that involves JUST a few things.

1. It involves a living, thriving relationship with the Lord. Through the reading and study of his Word, prayer, and community with other believers.

2. It involves the relationships that GOD has put into my life. Even though those people might live in Anderson, West Lafayette, my home, or the precious 1108.

3. It involves hard work. Also known as college. But studying is something that I will be rewarded for both now and later, and I’m looking forward to jumping back into that routine.

4. It involves responsibility. In my home and in the three things listed above.

5. It involves that pair of Levi’s that I’ve worn almost every day for the past two months. Because I believe that if a girl can simplify her wardrobe, she can simplify her life.

Five things isn’t bad.

Simplicity.

And I thought that this post was going to be about friendship.

Snickerdoodles and…

What should go along with snickerdoodles?

Milk.

Laughter.

Hopes and dreams.

Thanksgiving.

Music in a language that you don’t understand.

Or all of the above…

Sunday it will be two months that I’ve been here and one month until I leave.

This last one month will go by very quickly. I have lots of things to do.

I’ve been thinking about going home. A lot.

I don’t know why this thought has come so early on in my adventure. I think it’s because a lot of people have been asking me whether or not I want to go home.

I don’t want to go home.

But I can’t wait to see my family and my friends.

I can’t wait to speak my language all the time.

I can’t wait to go back to school.

But to leave my friends here…

To leave the missionary families here…

To leave the Spanish language…

To leave my Spanish class…

I don’t want to do those things.

I told my parents this the other night.

I think that going home will be a big adventure.

I think that most people won’t understand what I’ve just been through, and most probably won’t even know that I’ve been gone.

However, I think I’ve changed in some ways, and the people that know me best will see those things.

I’m excited to take the skills that I’ve learned here and use them in the States. I’m excited to take them back to my family, friends, and classes at my not so posh university.

When it’s time to go home, I’ll go home.

But for now I can’t wait to take advantage of all the cool things there are to do on this island.

“”

Is there anyone left who will understand I’m made of flesh and bone?

-Paper Route

What salt water does to my skin.

I’ve been in the Canary Islands for 7 and 1/2 weeks. With only 5 and 1/2 weeks left here, life has started to catch up with me. Not every day can be full of only laughter, sea food, and progress in the Spanish language.

God has not taken away the pain that comes along with living in a sinful world, but today he very clearly wanted me to know that I am beautiful and that the things I say and do really do encourage people to look to him.

This is only through his grace. All praise be to God.

Orbit Gum and Kelly Slater

Lately I feel as if I haven’t been accomplishing anything.

Lately I’ve been screwing up, putting things off, not communicating with people I should be communicating with, and I just need to know that I’m human.

So I’m human, right? Just like you?

I don’t have to have everything figured out in order to grow up, right?

And part of growing up is realizing that I DON’T have everything figured out, right?

And isn’t the whole part about me being a foolish, sinful human being a BIG part of the Gospel?

Yeah.

The reason I came here in the first place.

On and on and on we go just like a carousel that’s lost control

We don’t know why we don’t know why we go we go we go in circles

-Paper Route

The other day I was talking to my friend Dave Ferrier on Skype chat. We were talking about life. School. People. Greek (the language). Music.

The usual stuff.

While we were talking he reminded me of something our friend and former teacher, Steve Webster, said one day while we were sitting behind those desks that I had sat behind every week day for what felt like all of my life. It went something like this:

There are two things in life that will last forever: people and the Word of God. It would be wise of you to invest your time into both.

I may have gotten it totally wrong, but nevertheless it helps me prove my point.

Europe needs the Gospel.

Before I came to the Canary Islands, I would have these moments of doubt. People would ask me what I was going to do while here, and I would respond with “build relationships with people.” For some reason I started to think that that was a lame answer.

I’m not here to dig wells. I’m not here to start an orphanage. I don’t have to bathe out of a 5 gallon bucket. I don’t have to eat rice and beans three times a day. I don’t have to keep my faith a secret. I don’t have to lead a Bible Study.

I’m here to build relationships? Yep.

I think these moments of doubt would come when I was being the least selfish.

Sure. I was coming here to learn Spanish. I was coming here because I love to travel. I was coming here because I wanted to live in a different country for a little while. I was coming here because I’ve seriously thought about being a missionary. I was coming here…

Get my point?

It took me a month to FULLY realize that building relationships with people is worth it. I think I figured it out before I talked to Dave, but he helped me put it into words.

I could give you statistics about Europe. About Spain. About the Canary Islands. But a lot of times a number is just a number.

Let me put it this way…

My friends are still trying to figure out “what” I am.

Because I read the Bible because I want to.

Because I go to church because I want to.

I think they think it’s strange that I’m not forced to do these things by anyone or anything.

In other words, they haven’t really met anyone like me before.

Are you starting to figure this out?

15 girls. 15 friends. 15 people who have no idea what a Christian looks like.

Europe needs the Gospel.

Our prayers are needed. Our lives are needed. Heck, our money is needed.

God is going to do what He’s going to do. He wants us to be a part of it.

Why would we NOT be a part of it?!

Listen To What I’m Listening To

I finally bought Paper Route’s album “Absence” earlier this week. I’ve been listening to it nonstop since.

It’s really good. You should definitely check it out.

 

Michelle

Michelle is one of the girls I met last week in Switzerland. She’s currently an MK (missionary kid) in France. For some reason the two of us just connected right away. She was an encouragement to me all week long. I hope that I was an encouragement to her as well.

Tuesdays

Last Tuesday around 16:00 (aka 4:00 p.m.) I was hanging out with people who speak English. Laughing my head off. Using slang words like “yo” and “dude.”

This Tuesday was different.

This Tuesday at 16:00 I was sitting in a classroom on the first (actually second) floor of El Servicio de Idiomas building doing my best to remember what acostarse meant. It means to go to bed. Irony…it’s what I want to do right now.

Anyway, I survived my Spanish class. The Germans helped me with my missed assignments, and the French helped me with their smiles and goodbyes.

I’m pretty shy in my Spanish class. It’s not because I have to speak Spanish in my Spanish class. It’s because I’m shy in any classroom. I’m scared to ask questions. I’m scared to give answers. Even if I know that they’re correct. I’m slowly getting over this. I have a few more years before I’m done with the classroom anyway.

Outside of the classroom I’m not scared to ask questions.

Not at all.

Most of them begin with “why.”

More like…”WHY?!?!”

Most of them also go unanswered.

That’s ok. It just means that most of them don’t need an answer. I’m ok with that.

But some of them continue to frustrate me…

Next to the Word of God, people are the most important thing that I can invest my time and life and heart into, right?!

So why does God continue to put me in situations where I meet someone that I connect with. Spend large amounts of time with. Laugh with. Begin to love. And then take me out of their presence and never let us cross paths again?

Why does He continue to make me sit back and watch people’s lives play out from afar, and not allow me to be a part of them?

Why does He continue to put things (good things) RIGHT in front of me that I desire more than most things in life, and then take them away from me without even letting me get near them?!

And why does He let me get near things that only harm me?

Why does He bring pain to those that I love during the times that I can’t be there to help support them?

Some of these answers are getting clearer as I write the questions down, and some of them still continue to frustrate me.

If there is one thing that I can always find comfort in, it is the FACT that God has yet to let me down so far. And there’s good evidence that He will never do so in the future either.

…It’s more than I can say for myself.