Soon and very soon

I’ll be going to the place He has prepared for me

There my sin erased, my shame forgotten

Soon and very soon

I will be with the one I love

With unveiled face I’ll see Him

There my soul will be satisfied

Soon and very soon

I was instructed that I need to blog. So here I am, but I have no clue where to start.

I’ve always been a good girl. There are so many things that I have and have not done that would put me into that category. Coming out here to Spokane, I was hoping to meet other girls like me. Girls that I could share life with. Girls that I could be best friends with. Girls that would encourage me to be more like my Saviour. And I’ve found that. God has blessed me with a handful of girls that love me, and that I love. I am so thankful for them. It was not easy to build friendships with them, and it didn’t happen right away. The girls that God has blessed me with have taken part in the sanctification that I have experienced since I have been here. Most, but not all, of the growing, and learning, and pain that I have gone through since I have been out here has come from pride. Because I’ve always been a good girl, the gospel has never truly been my reason for rejoicing. Because I’ve always been a good girl, I have never really needed Jesus.

Only on the days when I do things wrong. Only on the days when I don’t read my Bible and don’t pray. Only on those days do I ever rejoice at all in the gospel. Only on those days do I really need Jesus.

Then God reveals to me my jealousy, and hypocrisy, and He destroys the idols that I have put up.

I’ve had knowledge of these sins in the past, but I’ve never really had to face them.

Because of the community God has placed me in, He has made me face them. And I am growing. And I am learning. And I am experiencing enough pain to humble me, and enough hurt to allow me to have love and compassion toward others, and enough joy in Him to share His gospel with people that I don’t even know.

My heart aches when I think of the people I love back home that have never experienced such things.

There is so much hope in the gospel! There is so much satisfaction in Jesus!

Father,

Please break their hearts as you have broken mine. Please destroy their idols as you continue to destroy mine. Please reveal to them their sin as you continue to reveal mine to me. Please break them as you continue to break me. And please show them grace upon grace as you have shown, and continue to show toward me.

I love you. I need you. Please don’t stop working in my heart and in my life. Show me who you really are.

In Jesus’ name

Amen

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. lizkaplanis
    Nov 05, 2010 @ 15:52:06

    AMEN!! I am SO encouraged by this! We need to talk ASAP. I want to hear what you are learning. I feel like we are possibly going through similar things (cool how God works like that, eh?) and we could help and encourage each other. I love you and miss you SO much and can’t wait to see you!

    Reply

  2. jesse rachelle yoder
    Jan 16, 2011 @ 12:01:17

    amen. powerful, amen.

    Reply

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