Without

I think a lot of times when people choose to go without things it’s because they’re trying to find something better. I’m learning that I choose to go without things because there is something better, and going without is was usually brings me to it. I’m leaving the country in just over 4 months, and many of my emotions are stirred up at the thought of being without for so long. Without home. Without friends. Without english. Without Fort Wayne weather. Without expectations. Without my own vehicle. Without the familiarity that comes from 18 years in the same place. I’m ready. I’m ready for the challenge that comes from being without. And not because I’m ready for the challenge, but because I’m ready for the place to where the challenge leads. I’m ready for that. I’ve been ready for that. I’ve had to wait for longer than I would have liked to wait, but I’m ready now. That’s all that matters. There is this place in my heart that already feels the weight of the challenge, but at the same time remembers the deep breath that comes when the challenge has been completed.

I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.

I’m so ready.